Week 7

It is hard to believe that we are just about in the middle of week 7 of this pregnancy. I still am having a hard time believing that I actually am pregnant. I definitely felt a huge relief when we saw our two little one's hearts beating on the ultrasound. For a couple of days I was on a high with no self-doubt. But, little by little, that doubt rears its ugly big head a little further into my mind. I am so excited... but so afraid. I don't want anything to go wrong. It's like I am a self-masticist (I don't know how to spell this word!)... I want to feel sick, or something, just to be assured that everything is still going okay in there! I just pray that these next few weeks pass quickly!

When I do allow myself to believe I am pregnant, I can hardly belive it is with twins. I'm not sure that I've wrapped my head entirely around the idea of it. When I daydream, I can picture James and I in our house with our two little ones. It is such a nice feeling. I haven't allowed myself to think too much beyond that. James and I began discussing finances this weekend and I couldn't allow myself to go there yet. Maybe because it is too early- but probably more so- because it is too stressful. James really wants me to stay home. I am all about that- as long as we can work it! Only time will tell. In the meantime, there is so much we need to explore. I am confident that in time, everything will come together.

Overall I've been feeling pretty good. As I knock on wood, I'll say that I haven't really been sick. Every now and then I feel waves of "ickiness", but beyond that, I haven't had to run to the bathroom once. I've always had a strong stomach- so I am hoping it stays that way. I am having a hard time deciding what to eat. Many things don't appeal to me. I am trying so hard to make sure I eat healthy and cover all the important food groups. When you can't eat deli-meat, don't really like chicken, or most meats in general, this is a tad difficult to do. I am loading up on yogurt and cheese, which helps me get in my calcium as well. Mostly I am craving tangy things. This isn't really a new symptom.

Fatigue has definitely kicked in full force. I've taken a power nap in my classroom just about every day (in fact, I am in need of one now). On the weekends, I doze off every chance I get. James has been wonderful in taking over all driving responsibilities. In addition, he really has made up for my lack of energy at home. I forced myself to go grocery shopping yesterday so I could feel like I was finally contributing something!

I invested in some new clothes this weekend- as my old ones didn't exactly fit anymore. I did buy a few things from Motherhood (dresses, shirts, and the tummy belt), but mostly I just bought bigger sizes at regular stores. I figure I will need these sizes right after delivery.

I also bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I am using it as a reference as I don't think I'd be able to read the entire book cover to cover. I've also gone online to answer some of my questions... "How early do twin pregnancies normally deliver?", "How big will my belly get?", "What is the possibility of delivering vaginally vs. through c-section?"... I'm sure there is a good twins book out there that will answer all of these questions and more... I just have to find it!

I am ecstatic to report that I only have 5 more progesterone-in-oil injections to endure. I was really to hang up the towel last Friday and ask Dr. Timmerick for a prescription for the progesterone suppository. I told her that I thought I was ready but didn't want to jeopardize anything. She told me that I wouldn't jeopardize anything- but it was possible that I might spot a little. This was all I had to hear. I don't know what spotting looks like- and I don't ever want to have to. I decided that I could get through the pain... and now with only 5 more shots, I know I can! When all is said and done, I would have been injected with a 1.5 inch, 22 gauge needle in my ass 43 times... I am a warrior!!! On Monday, I'll start Prometrium, which is a progesterone pill, twice a day. The catch is that instead of taking the pill orally, I will take it vaginally... as a suppository. I am nervous about the potential spotting this may cause- but am trying to prepare myself. I also will cut my estrogen (Estrace) from twice a day to once a day. By week 10, I'll be weaned off it all!

I really wish week 12 was here... I know I have to take things day by day--- but this is SO HARD!!! I know I'll get through and in the end know that every single second of worry, ounce of pain, and pound of anxiousness was worth it! I can't wait!

Until next time...