Grow Babies, Grow!

So you don't have to wait as long as I did... All of the embryos are still with us! Transfer day is set for Saturday (Day 5). At the time of the report today, four were at the four-cell stage, while two- were still at the two-cell stage. My nurse said that by now, it is possible that all six might be at the four-cell stage. Their development depends on when they were inseminated. I didn't have to ask this question, she just told me!

Before this point, it has been a horrible day. I am overcome with emotion! My mind has be infiltrated with every possible thought, of every possible outcome, all day long! It was extremely difficult to get out of bed this morning because my butt is in so much pain. I also just wanted to sleep until it was time to hear the progress of our embryos. I finally got myself up and ready I went downstairs to prepare my lunch. When reaching to get a cucumber out of the fridge, I accidentally bumped the quart of strawberries, that James got for me when he did the shopping last night (since I am good for nothing right now!) and they spilled all over the floor. I immediately started sobbing. James told me that it was okay and that the strawberries could be washed. He washed them and told me he had and that it was okay. Through my sobs, I then screamed, "It's not the strawberries." I feel awful for letting my emotions come out on him and since have explained the intense feelings of fear that I am feeling. He is working so hard to do everything and I know he wishes he could take away the pain and fear. Unfortunately, there is nothing he can do- except, not get too upset when I bust out in tears!

Back to the phone call... They say no news is good news... but when you are waiting to hear if you still have the possibility of becoming a mother, you want the news... NOW!

When I spoke to Joy yesterday she told me that she would call me around the same time today as she did yesterday. I made it until 1:00 p.m. before I called her. The call went to her voicemail. I then called the front desk at SGFC. The call went to voice mail. I even pressed zero twice- but after a few rings, voicemail. I'm not sure how many times I called, but it is in the double digits. I kept my phone on all through my team meeting but no call. At 2:45 p.m. I called again. I got Joy's voicemail AGAIN! I screamed! I called the front desk and someone finally answered. This is how the conversation went after I was greeted by the usual stuff:

Me (in a very soft, steady, even tone... not typical of how I talk!): "Thank you for answering.
Receptionist: Silence
Me: Hello, my name is Kristin. I had my eggs retrieved on Monday. My nurse told me that she would call me around the same time today as she did yesterday. I've been waiting to hear from her for four hours. I cannot wait any longer. This is torturous. (At this point my voice started to shake as I held back the sobs).
Receptionist: "Okay. Who is your nurse?"
Me: "Joy Woody"
Receptionist: "I will transfer you back to her right away."
Three minutes later...
Joy: "Hello, this is Joy."
Me: "Hello Joy, this is Kristin."
Joy: "Hi Kristin, how are you?"
Me: "I'm not doing very well."
Joy: "I am sorry to hear that, why?"
Me: "Because yesterday you told me you would call me today around the same time as you did yesterday. I've been waiting for four hours to hear from you and I can't take much more of this."
Joy: "I am very sorry about that, our computers went down so I am trying to play catch up. Things are progressing well. You have four embryos in the 4-cell stage, and the other two are in the 2-cell stage. It is quite possible that all six are in the 4-cell stage by now since the report was conducted earlier today."
Me: "Why would that happen?"
Joy: "Well, those two eggs were probably inseminated later in the day on the day of retrieval."
Me: "Okay, so will we be transferring tomorrow?"
Joy: "Yup, yup. Wait a second, let me check here. No, wow, they've pushed you back until Saturday. They would normally transfer on day three if only 3 were developing. You're doing very well."

We spoke for a bit longer. I asked her about the immense pain I am feeling in my butt (both sides) from the progesterone in oil injections. I described the pain as torturous and that I've tried her suggestions (warm compress, not icing ahead of time, heat after, as well as massage) and the pain is the same today as yesterday. She then told me that she would speak to the doctor to see if she would prescribe a suppository. Upon hearing this, I immediately said no, that was okay. I asked her if the injections were the best method for what I needed. She said they were but she didn't want me to be in pain. I told her that it didn't matter, that I would get through it and do what was best for my chances. Having said that, I am not quite sure how I am going to get through... I just know that I will get there!

I can say that today has been one of the longest days of my life. This is, by far, the worst part so far... WAITING! Joy told me that if I don't hear from her by noon tomorrow, to call, and if I had to, leave a message. You better believe I will. I can't believe I made it as long as I did today... it was hell!

James is super excited- but now he is nervous. While I am excited that the continued development of the six embryos gives us a better chance of success, his first thought is about potentially having six children (not this cycle). Before starting this process we agreed not to discard of any of the embryos and freezing for transfer during an additional cycle(s) would be our only option. For someone who started this process wanting 2 children (James), the extreme case scenario is hard to swallow. He hasn't done as much reading as I have in that he doesn't realize that the chance of all six embryos surviving is extremely slim. I did my best to explain this to him, but I can tell, he's freaking out a little! God has a plan for us and only time will tell. I will be sure to keep you posted as I hear by 12:00 tomorrow (we'll at least I hope so!) Until next time...